The brain is the most powerful tool we have in our body. If we know how it works, we can use it to achieve our greatest potential. One of the biggest downfalls of our brain is its instant gratification especially with unwanted behavior. Consider Pornography, when a brain is exposed to it, it is given a dose of dopamine comparable to heroin without the financial burden. After continued use, the brain reinforces a trodden down neural-pathway that is not easy to overcome. Through this process it creates associations... if you are feeling any type of negative emotion- Porn can be your band-aid. If you are feeling bored- Porn can create a fantasy world full of variety. The addicted brain is extremely quick to send the the most pleasured fantasy-based solutions- drugs, video games, tv marathons, cutting, food or anything that can give you a release from the pain.
So, here are three steps to begin to change those associations. Since I work with mostly pornography addicted brains I will use that as an example.
First- it is essential that we know our value system that opposes the addiction. For most people, Pornography is not a value for them but they do value a life without it. A wonderful place to start is to ask yourself, "how do I want my brain to view the human body in regards to sex?" The majority in this world don't want to be viewed as objects and I am assuming they would want the same for others. So you've got to know your personal values around it. Personally, I view the human body as beautiful, virtuous, something divinely created by a God I love. I also view sex as something beautiful, an expression of ultimate safety with your spouse, a bond that can create an all-consuming love. I also see it as something that gives us a God-given gift to create life.
Second- Once we have our value system in place and our philosophy around it is sound, it is important to create a remembrance system around it. This could be a key word or phrase that you are exposed to at least three times a day. People can use their bathroom mirrors and a dry-erase marker to remember, others can use the alarms on their phone with phrases appearing as their alarm goes off. This causes the brain to create a strong neural pathway for the value that overrides the brains desire to use pornography. Remember the brain goes to instant gratification when in distress so to have a counteracting force against that is vital.
Third- Go on the offensive- do something that reinforces the neural pathway. If a person is constantly feeling they are under attack by the brain's desire to watch pornography, that puts them on the defensive and their brain will get agitated and want a quick fix. Choose an action every day that reinforces your value system, write about your philosophy for change, serve a family member, create a new connection with a neighbor, follow up with a friend on social media, go treat your body to exercise or hard work.
Remember the more we reinforce connections with our true value system, the more our brain will feel at ease. The associations our brain makes will change for the better as we focus on our values. It will not need to feed off fantasy worlds if it's given the nutrition from our remembered moral codes.
For more philosophy and science around addiction recovery strategies please refer to Maurice Harker's book "Like Dragon's Did They Fight", research the studies and writings of Dr. Donald Hilton, Mark Chamberlain's "Will Power is Not Enough" and his website lovehealsporn.com, lifechangingservices.org and fightthenewdrug.org.
Cody Hawes LCSW is a licensed clinician for the Sons of Helaman program. He specialiazes in addiction recovery, marital therapy and mental health recovery. He can be reached at 1-801-721-0144.
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