"Know That You Can"

By A. B.

Graduate and General in the Sons of Helaman Program currently serving a mission in Africa

  

I was broken. I was weak. 

I was evil, perverse, and defective. 

I heard everyone around me give me praise. 

They spoke of unlimited potential, and a bright future. 

But they didn't know.

They didn't know that I looked at porn. 

They didn't know that I couldn't stop. That I was really just vile and sick.

They saw only the outsides and surfaces. The bright edifice of my lies.

They thought I meant it when I bore my testimony. They thought that I was good and virtuous. They made me quorum and seminary presidents. My teachers and friends trusted me. They put me in leadership and confidential roles. They treated me as though I deserved their respect.

But I didn't. 

Then things changed. I told people about my addiction.

I let a choice few know of my defect and my weakness.

The praise continued.

My bishop told me that I was mighty.

Cody told me that I was awesome. 

My mother told me that she loved me.

It hadn't ever crossed my mind that what people said could be true.

I had been listening to Satan's imitation of my voice telling me that I was evil.

I was looking through a keyhole that only revealed the addict. 

Opening up the door allowed me to see that the addiction was only a small part of me. A part of me that could be controlled with the right tools and training.

But not until I was able to see myself as I am.

I am a son of God. A son of Helaman. An eternal warrior.

A champion of the Savior, and a nightmare of Satan.

You want to know how to beat this thing? 

Know that you can. 

A.B.

Note from Cody:

It is so great for this young man to realize what others see in him and his potential. His potential is revealed increasingly and will continue to be revealed as he realizes how he is seen in the eyes of Heaven. One of the great principles I am learning from this young man... he no longer believes he is defined by his inconsistent and mortal behavior or attitude but rather is defined by a God that works with him to reveal his divine potential for this life. He noticed early on that God is not meant to punish him when learning to overcome mortality and the natural man but is meant to help him learn to separate the behavior from himself, know that it has been overcome by the atonement and get energized to repent. When we do what A.B. is doing we learn that drawing closer to God helps us change at a higher rate that distancing ourselves ever would. Remember that God is a loving father yearning for your return not a God who wants to be distant with an empty house.