Secrets to Success
"Dear Heavenly Father, please help. Amen"
A winning battle by a hero of mine:
Known as M.L.
4 Weeks and going strong
"After years of repentance and striving to become clean again, I finally became broken and humble enough for the Lord to teach me the things that I needed to learn. I’m going to tell you just how the Lord had mercy on me and how he changed my heart.
On Monday, March 2, 2015 I had my last lost battle. I gave up. I had been clean for almost 2 weeks. After losing that battle, I felt more depressed than I have ever felt. At that point I was truly broken. I began to doubt God. I went to him in prayer asking him why he wasn’t helping me. I told him that I had been implementing daily scripture study and I felt like I was being diligent in praying daily. I felt that I was not receiving the strength that I felt I deserved and so desperately needed. By the end of the day I had repented for the things that I had done that day. I didn’t feel like my heart was necessarily in it, but I just did it anyway so that I wouldn’t have as much guilt hanging over my shoulders. Tuesday came, I was busy all day and wasn’t tempted very much.
On Wednesday, March 4, 2015, I woke up around 6:30. I was on call for work and didn’t think I would get called in. I knew it was going to be a tough day. At about 7:00, Satan put a thought in my mind to lose a battle. He told me that everyone would gone at 8:00 and I would have the house to myself. I accepted it. I didn’t even put up a fight. I started to kill time until everyone left because in that moment the only thing I wanted to do was lose a battle. I hopped in the shower and began getting ready for the day. I felt a prompting to pray for help. I didn’t want to follow this prompting because in that moment I literally wanted to lose a battle. I prayed anyway. All that I said was “Dear Heavenly father, please help me. Amen.” I began to think about my reasons for fighting: My mission that I desperately want to go on, my future wife who I want to protect, and my family now that I want to make proud. I began to feel my thinking leave the middle part of the brain and return to my values area in the frontal lobe. I felt warrior chemistry begin to kick in. In that moment, I received a little more strength. I got out of the shower, went to my room and started reading “Like dragons did they fight” By Maurice Harker. My mom came down and told me she knew it would be a hard day but that she believes in me. I texted Cody Hawes, my councilor, I told him that I needed help. He quickly called me and talked me out of losing a battle. He told me ways that I could gain strength. After I spoke with him, I wrote a note to my sister telling her how much I love her and how great she is. I went to the gym and bought a membership. (I hate the gym. I used to work at one and have no desire to go there anymore). I knew it was something that would keep my busy in the morning and help me, so I just did it. I went to 2 places to get my sister lunch. They were both closed since it was 9:00 in the morning, but I tried. I got home and had extra strength, but still had no idea how I would get through the day. I received a text from a guy in my ward who is about 38 years old and used to snowboard professionally. We are good friends and he knows my current situation. In that text he said “I have 2 free passes to Powder Mountain today. Wanna go?” Of course I wanted to go! That sounded awesome. He said he would pick me up around 10:30. At about 9:30, my manager called me saying he had shift for me. I faked sick and told him I had been throwing up all morning. That probably wasn’t the best idea but keep in mind that it had just snowed a lot the day before! After that, my cousin texted me and said “Do you want to go to the shooting range?” That sounded super fun too, but I told him I was going snowboarding. I spent most of that day snowboarding and enjoying all of the fresh powder. I was busy all day and was able to stay clean.
When I returned home, I realized that the Lord had given me an escape. But not just an escape, he gave me 3! He let me choose which one I wanted to take. Since this happened, I have not lost another battle. The Lord hasn’t stopped either. He has given me so many more experiences like this and blessed me with so many great tender mercies. These kinds of things happen all of the time now because I have learned to follow promptings. Now that I am winning my battles, I am so much happier. I have more confidence than I have ever had before. I now write 3-4W1 on my hand every day. 3-4 for March 4th, to remind me to follow promptings. W to think of all women in white, especially women who are dressing immodestly, and 1 to remind me to put the kingdom of God first and all things will be added unto me.
My advice to young men who are struggling with Pornography, or anyone repenting and continuing to make mistakes is to be patient. Humble yourself and try to learn what it is the Lord could be teaching you. He is completely aware of you and your current circumstance. He is anxious to open up the windows of Heaven and bless you, and I’m sure he already is blessing you a lot. My success began when I started focusing on what the Lord was doing to help me instead of only looking at what Satan was doing to ruin me. Have faith, once you have been able to learn from you trials, you will be set free. I now know that Christ lives and I know that he has the power to change our hearts. I know that because he has changed mine. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." M.L.
Cody Hawes MSW, LCSW
lifechangingservices.org
1-877-HERO-877
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